To The Courageous Women Warriors on Mother's Day

I usually write about Motherhood from the trenches because that’s where I am. Mother’s Day is a bright spot when you’re in the trenches. It’s a day your kids actually say thank you for all you do and your husband endeavors to give you a private bathroom break. He doesn’t succeed, but he tries really hard. And when he doesn’t succeed, he gives you flowers, or a wind chime, or, in my case, a unicorn. (See my Pinterest for the joke.)

Motherhood is a strenuous occupation with no paycheck and no red carpet. Most days, I don’t know if I’m doing enough. Except on Mother’s day. On that day, my family showers me with love and appreciation. Unprompted. That’s the beauty of holidays like Mother’s day and Valentine’s day. Guys who don’t do “hints” validate women who have trouble asking for what they need.

It’s funny how complicated/controversial Mother’s day has become. We want to celebrate Mom's sacrifice and labor (because they deserve it!) while not causing pain to women experiencing infertility or loss (child or parental). As this Mother’s Day approaches, I’m thinking of two women who will spend this day without their child for the first time and another who will spend this Mother’s day without her Mom. My heart aches for them. I want all women, regardless of situation or life season, to feel loved and encouraged on Mother’s Day.

To you Moms who are hurting today:

Precious, courageous hearts, I never want my Mother’s Day to hurt you. I have been where you stand. I have cowered at the back of a church waiting for the inevitable – “When are you going to have a baby?” – too broken to confess the pile of negative tests and the worry my body had failed me or my husband somehow. I have wept through a Mother’s Day after a miscarriage and ached through one after burying my beautiful daughter. I will never forget the pain of those days. Nor will I ever forget the deep fulfillment of holding my newborn children. In those moments, the earth stood still as I gazed in awe. Because when you have to fight for something, long for something or wait for something, it is that much more precious when it finally comes. Please know, I hold you in my heart this Mother's Day, and I will not dishonor you who wait or you who weep by ever taking the incredible gift of motherhood for granted.

To my fellow Moms in the trenches:

You are all Wonder Women. It IS enough, even when they don’t say so. Don’t be intimidated by the women who look like they’re doing a better job than you. Trust me, they’ve got their own set of problems. And please don’t ever feel guilty for putting sleep first. A sane, rested mom is worth her weight in gold.

To the Moms of us ‘grown and flown’ kids:

We may forget to call or to send cards, but we love you. And appreciate you. And understand you did the best you could with what you had. And the older our kids get, the more we realize you were right. ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Every woman is a courageous warrior.

Mothers to be.

Mothers that have been.

Mothers that are.

I honor you all.

Happy Mother’s Day.